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Elopements are ever popular these days. It would seem you can’t flip through a wedding magazine, or scroll down a wedding blog without inadvertently stumbling upon some ethereal elopement in the mountains. It’s ALWAYS in the mountains too! You know I’m right! ????

The rise of elopements totally makes sense. For so many reasons. I attribute some of the popularity on photographers taking liberties in finding new ways to market – like styled shoots (myself included). Generally for cost purposes, it unintentionally gives the illusion of an elopement. Wedding blogs, and magazines pick up said shoots, and out into the world gorgeous elopement inspiration goes. While Pinterest is a new bride’s best friend, I don’t believe beautiful photos are solely to blame for the rise of elopements. Let’s be real. Financials are.

We live in a time where a budget of 20k for a wedding feels like an unattainable magic unicorn. 20k is a car. There really is no other way to put that. While some couples can happily pay more, and that is amazing! Others can not, or simply do not want to (me haha). I have talked with many couples who are seemingly shy or embarrassed to discuss budget – that has to change. Not wanting to pay what you would for a downpayment on a house on your wedding day is OK.

That is where the allure of elopements come in. Where the question, “Can I have my cake and eat it to?”, comes to play. I’m here to tell you, yes. Yes you can, and by all means eat away.

Alright friends, this isn’t a story I normally share, and when I do it’s generally just the bullet points. To understand why Gordie and I decided to elope in the first place, you have to know some of the back story. We met in a bar. The end. ???????????? I’m just kidding, there is definitely more to it than that! After we met in a bar, because that part was true, we became actual magnets. Our schedules were so opposite, it wasn’t even funny. Gordie was a chef, so he worked ALL of the hours. While I worked your typical yawn-worthy 8-5. I was also a full time college student, and bartended at the very bar we met at. Which, Gordie was the chef at! Boom! (Hashtag don’t judge couples who meet in bars????)

Fast forward, 6 months later he proposed. Fast forward some more, by the end of the year we had a baby! I told you we were magnets. This, this is how life is though. Whether it’s a baby, any other life goal or expenses, things happen that change your perspective. And boy did having a baby change my entire perspective on life.

Wedding planning initially started out smooth. Insert a big LOL right here, cause that did not last. We booked our venue, and I knew who we wanted as our photographer – so in my mind I assumed we were done. ???? Those were the only 2 things I really even cared about. However, those two things alone immediately put us over 10k. I should mention, I did not want to spend more than 20k. I just couldn’t justify it. We started tallying up the cost of food, liquor, cake, music, etc., and I was getting nervous that it was all for not. Who was I doing this for? Gordie, myself and our new baby – or everyone else who had “expectations”.

One night as I was making the next move (on most likely another deposit). I turned to Gordie frustrated. “Want to just get married in the mountains?!” I asked.
He excitedly responded, “yes, duh!”
“Of course”, I said, “I mean without anyone else there.”

Right then, I introduced a RADICAL idea. That at first we only half heartedly entertained. While the thought of not having to pay all this money, and escape the pressure we felt was upon us was EUPHORIC – the immediate disappointment we knew we would face from family intimidated us into passing the idea off as a joke. But that didn’t last long. I began legitimizing why we shouldn’t be spending this money. Three major reasons stood out. 1. Did we want to spend this money on a house or a wedding? 2. Baby, always baby. 3. Maybe another baby ???? BABIES!!

A decision was made. We then prepped ourselves for the pending frustrations, and told our family what we had decided. We were met with mixed reactions. Some simply didn’t understand what it meant to plan a wedding in advance that was just for us. Some in response, didn’t take no for an answer and showed up to our wedding day anyway! HAHA but I’ll get to that shortly. Ultimately, family embraced our position, because we weren’t going to change our minds. We even had to reach out and cancel with the vendors we did book. We ate a percent of those deposits ???? You know that hurt! It still hurts thinking about it.

Once we focused on what we really wanted, we quickly found a venue we loved. Of course it was all the way across the country – at the time we still lived in Chicago. Holman Ranch Winery, in Carmel Valley, California. Two words friends: Wine Country. It was as pretty as it sounds. We planned a mini birthday vacation, and went to visit the venue along with other potential vendors.

We picked a new wedding date. A Monday, since it was just us, and the venue charged less. Holman took care of everything from booking the hours we wanted, to food, alcohol, cake, officiant, all for a quarter of the price of my initial budget. We found a local photographer that was literally the sweetest! It helped that I also loved her work. She’s not a photographer professionally anymore, but boy did she rock my day! She didn’t belittle the idea of only wanting her there for 3 hours. She embraced it! She understood that I didn’t need more than 3 hours, but that I loved her work and wanted quality. Working with her actually inspired me to never forget how it was to be a bride, and how important it is to be an all encompassing photographer.

Our wedding was the most relaxed I’ve ever been. It was filled with love, joy and lots of tears… and two moms who decided to crash our day! Which inevitably made it so that our baby girl could also be a part of  it. There was even a surprise guest, as I was 10 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby. I TOLD YOU – we were magnets! ???????? I don’t think you can tell I was pregnant, but you may notice where I am always holding my bouquet. When I reflect back on our choices, I have zero regrets. Which brings me to another point. While elopements are not meant to cater to guests. It doesn’t mean you can’t have those closest to you witness your moment, and then go on their merry way. Which is exactly what our mothers did once it came time for us to have dinner.

While this is obviously a condensed version of our experience, it is important to note that the difficult moments in planning this were just that – difficult. But to me, less so than planning the big wedding we were initially going towards. The most challenging times were because I didn’t have any sort of reference to base any of our plans on.

Our experiences are unique to us, and I never want to try and sway someone away from the plans they already have. I embrace all wedding ideas, cultures and experiences. With the rise of elopements, I felt the need to express to any couples maybe considering an elopement, that you can do it and family WILL (eventually) understand. You have to do what feels good to you, not just in your heart but in those pockets! That is my point with all of this. Do what lights your soul on fire with the person who lights your heart on fire!

I love my wedding photos beyond expressible words. The only thing I would potentially change would be my style choice in cake and flowers. Hahah oh the things my crazy photographer brain would do now! At the bottom are some of the vendors that made my day perfect.

Vendors

Photography: Erin Enea formerly at BE Photographs
Venue: Holman Ranch
HMU: Joette Catanzaro